AV俱乐部

Alex, his mother Elizabeth, sister Katharine and father Fred. (Photo courtesy of Fred Fountain)

As Chancellor at AV俱乐部, Fred Fountain says attending convocation and greeting new graduates is one of the perks of the position. But this fall, just two months after the suicide of his son Alex, he found it especially difficult.

鈥淚 looked for him in all the faces I saw, especially those of the tall, handsome young guys,鈥� says Mr. Fountain, interviewed in the downtown office of his investment management firm, Great Eastern Corporation.

With Alex鈥檚 death still shocking, his absence still keenly felt, Mr. Fountain struggles to make sense of the why and how and what he could have done. But, as painful as it is, he wants to talk about the son he loved deeply.

鈥淚 know suicide and mental health and depression aren鈥檛 talked about,鈥� he says carefully. 鈥淏ut really, has that helped anybody?鈥�

Almost 21 years of age, Alex, an A-student, was about to begin his fourth year of university at AV俱乐部 when he took his own life on August 22. A great music lover, he was working as a summer student at the Halifax Pop Explosion. He had a beaming smile and loads of friends. As one friend said soon after his death, 鈥渉e was always the friendliest guy in the room.鈥�

More than 650 people filled First Baptist Church on Oxford Street in Halifax for his funeral and 950 signed on to a Facebook group created by Alex鈥檚 sister Katharine to share memories of the 鈥済uy who radiated positivity.鈥�

Alex, who lived off campus, came home to St. Margaret鈥檚 Bay about once a week. The family had Sunday brunch together just days before he died, and before that, went on a family fishing trip. 鈥淲e went fishing. We went for a run together. He beat me at Scrabble,鈥� says Mr. Fountain. 鈥淗e was having good summer. We don鈥檛 know what triggered his suicide. We just don鈥檛 know.鈥�

Renown for his volunteerism and philanthropy, Mr. Fountain, named to the Order of Canada last year, is gradually returning to the life he knew. Earlier this month, he was recognized by the Canadian Red Cross with its 2009 Humanitarian Award. Given a head鈥檚 up about the award just a week before Alex鈥檚 death, he admits he had given it little thought beyond feeling appreciative and humbled for the honor.聽

"His death has overshadowed everything," he says. "It's very hard and we're all still coming to grips with it."

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